I'm not telling you what it is; that's what you're supposed to guess.

Indescribable

By Mary Wakeman

Drat. Now what was I going to do? That damned green slob was in line. He was a vivid plastic shamrock green. Either I'd miss dinner or get slimed; I knew there was no third alternative.

I saw the thing too often for it to be coincidence; there were 528 eating bars on the vessel. I tried walking to the back of the line by going all the way around the edge of the room and approaching from the very rear. The idea was fine, but I found that a curve entered my trajectory and left me only about three feet from him when I was midway around.

I pulled myself over to the wall again and held on. "Jan," I spotted a gofer from the typing pool, "would you please go through the line for me, and get me a number three with a five dessert? There seems to be something wrong with my equilibrium, and I'm afraid I'll fall."

"Sure Dr. Worhogg, no problem. I'll just finish mine when it's cold. That's okay." Pissant whiner. I gave her the pellets and included an extra one. "Keep the change Janny." The smile on my face threatened to cramp my cheeks. She chewed all the while she talked.

Even in a chair at the edge of the room, my body pulled toward the greenie like I was a compass needle. I leaned back, grabbed the edge of the table, and tried not to breathe it in. How could everyone else stand it? I was the only one behaving like a loony. Though I didn't want to end up anywhere near the glob, my body had other ideas. Whatever I responded to, it seemed I was the only one sensitive to it.

The creature sat at the table next to the one I clutched. I had no chance now. Jan was back with my meal. "Where should I put this, Dr. Worhogg; here on my table where I like to eat in solitary peace, or over here on the slime monster's stump?"

"Oh, just throw it on the floor in the middle; I don't give a rat's ass." I was beyond aggravated, now. The greenie leered at me and laughed.

"Do you have a problem, Dr. W.?"

"You know damn well I do slimer. Please turn it off."

"What, my charisma?"

"Hardly."

"Well then what is it? You'll have to tell me."

"I don't know just how to describe it." Then I smacked into him, and he oozed over me. When he'd finished, and drawn back, I sat on the table top in front of him, picking bits of green from my hair and throwing them at him, while he tidied up. They reintegrated with the blob seamlessly. I saw deep gold bumps rising on the top of his body.

"Was it good for you?"