Well this is a bit different than what was asked for but what the hey. Sorry for the politics but if anyone has a good flip-flop story let me know. John Kerry is a bit too obvious but I may add it. This is quite crude but I would like some feedback before I polish it.

Dave K

 

 

Character Development

 

Balmor sat in the coffee shop waiting for his target to arrive. He paged through his notes which detailed the mannerisms, physical features, and speech patterns of Senator Armstrong. Armstrong was the epitome of an alpha male human. He was tall, had curly dark hair, blue eyes and, of course, broad shoulders. Since he had arrived on the planet Balmor had recorded all of Armstrong's public appearances. After all, it was widely expected that Armstrong would be the next president of the USA and if the Frillmore were able to replace the real man with a simulacrum then they could easily take over the planet. Armstrong's speech patterns and physical gestures were so controlled and consistent that the simulacrum they had created deviated by less than a centimeter and three seconds from an actual speech.

It was the mental behavior that Balmor was having trouble modeling. The Frillmorean techs had loaded all the stored speeches and voting behavior into the artificial mind, but when Balmor gave that mind a real situation it would as often as not react differently than the real Armstrong.

Balmor cradled his head in his hands and stared at his notes. It was no wonder that these humans had more medicines to relieve head aches than his species had to cure all their ills. In an effort to better capture the essence of being human he had searched the planet's information system for lists of what traits were important to describe a person. These lists he found in abundance. There were many lists created by the human fiction writers to aid in the creation of realistic characters. But none of these dealt with the contradictions he found in Armstrong.

He knew that Armstrong was born in Iowa, educated in a state school and then a prestigious university. He had spent his early years as a lawyer and then became interested in politics. He served in the Iowa senate then the US congress and finally became a US senator. He was a pilot and would fly his own jet back and forth to his home state. He liked fishing and model building. He disliked bowling and golf but had played golf weekly until he became a US senator.

Balmor knew all there was to know about Armstrong but none of this would explain why he had fought health insurance reform as a state senator but fought for it in the US senate. These humans were the most puzzling race Balmor had come across. Their scientific theories were quite advanced despite the primitive technology but their politics was unfathomable. Balmor had one more chance to make sense of the humans before he had to return to his ship.

Armstrong entered the shop and looked around. He saw Balmor at the table and waved. He ordered a drink at the counter and carried it to Balmor's table.

"Mr. Balmor, I believe. Quite nice to finally meet you. I'm afraid my schedule has changed a bit and I'll only be able to stay for a short time. Duties of the office and all that." He smiled and the light glinted off his white teeth.

Balmor stood and shook his hand. The DNA he gathered would help the simulacrum pass any tests. "That's too bad. I hope you will be able to grant me an extended interview, perhaps after you win the next election?"

"Ha. Good try but I'm not ready to announce any decision about my candidacy quite yet. But I'm sure I can answer any other questions you have. Time permitting of course."

"Of course. Let's start. What is your position on nuclear arms reduction?"

"Good. Let's start big. Of course I want to reduce nuclear bombs. I would love it if Russia and China reduced their arms to zero. But of course they won't without a reduction in American arms. So to further that objective we ..." Armstrong continued for several minutes. Balmor tried to follow the logic but became confused. "So that is why I've proposed an increase in the testing and deployment on a next generation weapon."

"But, I thought you wanted to reduce the number."

"The number will be reduced. It will just be a lower number of the new design."

Balmor shook his head. He would review the recording later to try to understand. "And you policy on illegal aliens?"

"Breaking the law is wrong and should not be condoned. The best way to fix this problem is to grant an amnesty so that no laws have been broken."

"But-"

Armstrong's phone rang and he flipped it open. He grunted a few yeses into the phone then closed it. "I'm sorry an emergency vote has just been called. I have to return to the dome. Call my office and they can setup another interview in the future." Armstrong rose and strode out of the shop.

Balmor packed up his notes and walked back to his hotel. He would exchange with his real body back on the ship and let another researcher use this body. Maybe that one would have better luck.

 

* * *

 

An hour later back on the ship his transfer was complete. It felt good to be in his own body. As a human the inability to scratch his thorax with his fourth leg always drove him nuts. There was a message waiting for him and as expected the invasion leader wanted to discuss his progress.

At his terminal Balmor reviewed the results of his latest attempt to extend the time one of his species could occupy a simulacrum. After four hours Dillnree's body had started to show signs of distress. By the time the he had transfered from the simulacrum Dillnree was in major crises and only heroic efforts by the medical staff had saved him.

Balmor rolled in his sand pit for a bit then refreshed he flew to the leader's chambers and had his presence announced. In minutes he was presented to the leader.

"Well Balmor, how is the encoding of the human leader going?" Trilfinee asked.

"No real progress I'm afraid to report. The leaders seem as hard to pin down as a leaf in a wind storm. Have the computers been able to come up with a model?

Trilfinee ruffled her wing covers in frustration. "The last emulator froze up yesterday. The techs may be able to restart it but even then it will have to be reloaded from scratch and that will take weeks."

Balmor folded his legs under his carapace and hoped the show of submission would cheer up the leader. "Oh, stand on your legs. I'm not going to bite your head off. It's these humans. No matter what we try we can't get a simulacrum to hold an identity matrix for more than an hour. How do these humans function."

"It's just their political caste. The scientists, workers or entertainers we've modeled and loaded all work fine. Although knowing what is normal and accepted for some is difficult to determine. That one shaved her head and the other-"

"Enough. If we can't control the rulers we can't control the planet. How can they rule. How can they even think."

"The only algorithm I've developed to predict their behavior is... But it's not really usable. It-"

"Quit babbling and just tell me," Trilfinee yelled.

"The other side sucks."

"What?"

"The other side sucks."

"What's that mean."

The only way I can predict what stance one of their politicians will take is to ask a politician of the other side what their opinion is and then I'll be sure that a politician of the other party will take the opposite opinion. It's like quantum entanglement but the opposite."

"You're telling me that if you make up an issue and ask one of them what their opinion their opponent will automatically take the opposite side? Doesn't that imply some logic behind their opinions?"

"Maybe. But like quantum entanglement the result isn't known until measured. One of our scientists called it quantum disentanglement. I think he was joking."

"Can't you take a position they promoted in the past and extrapolate it?"

"We can't find an issue where they have been consistent. Armstrong was strongly against the spending levels of his predecessor then after he took office he proposed even more spending."

Trilfinee shook her antenna in disgust. "How about the extension project?"

Balmor lifted his wing covers to show lack of progress. We can't get past three hours."

"I thought Dillnree had reached four."

"Barely. And he spent two days in life support before he could talk again. I don't see any way we'll be able to use a host to control the simulacrums. We need to be able to use an artificial mind." Balmor looked at Trilfinee and pulled his legs under himself. "Why do we want this planet anyhow? The gravity's too strong, the atmosphere has barely enough oxygen to keep us conscious let alone move. There is so much salt in the oceans that it's toxic."

"We want it because the queen wants it. Because if we don't take it the Mondrean will take it. If they get it they can use it to expand their trade routes and cut months from their transit times. That's why." Trilfinee looked at Balmor cowering and settled her wing covers. She continued in a calmed manner. "I have to decide if we load what we have into the mind and watch itself destruct or simply head back and report failure."

 

* * *

 

"Bugs are so stupid." Rondofa watched from the bridge of the Mondrean ship as bugs pulled in their scouts and survey ships and prepared for the jump to hyperspace.

"They're leaving?" his second in command asked.

"Of course. They can't survive on the planet so they won't invade. Destroying it will only cost them and we could still use the remains. They are nothing if not logical. By treaty they have to annex the planet within one year or forfeit rights to it. In a few weeks it will belong to us."

"Great. I've been watching some of their cooking shows. "I wonder what deep fried human on a stick tastes like."