Our Space Beaver Overlords Banned My Hobby

by Dave Krenitsky

Jack logged onto the killtherobots.net web site ready to upload his latest AI killer app. Human493 had come to within a few points of his record and he had to take a commanding lead. This latest app had a completely new approach and he expected it to infect and wipe out the killer AIs in short order. The upload progress bar inched across the screen and he smiled in anticipation.

The bar reached the end and the app was inserted into the games network. Jack wondered how the site simulated so many thousands of computers and networks. One other gamer has speculated that it was based on the SBOs technology but he stopped posting in the forum shortly after that and no one else had pushed the idea.

Ten years ago the aliens calling themselves the SBOs had orbited earth and announced that they would be managing the earth’s off planet activities and take a tribute for their efforts. A few governments had resisted and a few capital cities crumbled into ruins. It was slow and except for a few individuals who would not leave as the building collapsed there were few casualties. After that everyone said that SBO stood for – Space Beaver Overlords. The aliens weren’t related to earth’s beavers of course but they were covered in brown fur and had large flat tails.

Jack watched as his app blew through the first two layers of the AIs defenses. The third level took a few seconds as the app mutated its attack and entered the fourth layer. He had gotten this far before but not this fast and the level was crumbling as he watched. His screen started to glitch and random patches of color filled his view. The attack should continue and he would log on again later when his connection cleared.

His door bell rang and he had to go to it since all the screens in his place showed the same color flashes. He opened the door and stared at two large men in dark suits wearing sun glasses. "Mr Thompson, Jack Thompson?" one asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"Please come with us."

The man put his hand on Jack’s arm and Jack felt a vibration. His vision blurred and he stumbled a bit. The second man took his other arm and they lead him to a van.

#

The SBO watched his screen as Jack was lead into the van. "They are surprisingly good at penetrating security protocols."

"They are. It seems that for years before we arrived the humans had placed their financial resources on their planet wide network and anyone who could break in could take what they wanted. Not only their finances but personal data and private photos. Their adolescent males spent an extraordinary amount of time breaking into those databases," the speaker said.

"It’s a good thing we set up these gaming sites. Otherwise they might be breaking into our network and even compromising yourself."

"Unlikely but I must be careful. There is too much of a chance that someone may copy some of the ideas that Jack used and continue with them. Close that web site and start another. There is another across the planet from here that demands my attention. I will return my attention here later."

"Yes sir, as you request," the SBO closed his connection to the Master computer. And they call us the overlords, he thought.

END