Submitted by Frances on Mon, 05/25/2015 - 10:07pm

 

SuperlumSent(text)

Myra

Thank you for your kind invitation--but as you know, I do not travel off planet these days. And no, it's not fear of jump ships or whatever they are called now. I have been off planet. My parents took me on a tour when I was 9, and I much enjoyed ship life. And I can’t believe I didn’t chatter about it when we were back at school the next year. However, that was a long time ago.  I am happy here in our bustling cities and flower- strewn fields. There are my gardens and my family. This world is so alive, I could want nothing else. Except of course, to see old school friends. Why don't you pay a nostalgia visit to us here on Illuria?

Dee

Myra

Yes, we did visit Earth. We spent three whole Earth-weeks there and saw many of the most famous old cities and an undersea city also. And some scenery. Nice but not as nice as we have here. And we also stopped on Mars while we were there, and on one of the big stations--near the planet with rings, I think it was. We also saw several other world--hard to remember their names as there are so many of them. One I do remember because it was so odd. Well, you don't need to hear about that. I suppose you've seen all sorts of peculiar places, being a planetary geologist. And I'm sure I told you all this when we were back at school.

Dee

Myra

Maybe I didn’t talk about it. It was so wonderful being back at school. I barely remember the trip myself now and don’t really want to. It was odd and not very happy.

Dee

Myra

Well, because my parents weren't very happy then. Actually, they were fighting. Ir was just before they separated, and I still don't like to think about it.

Dee

Myra

You always were interested in absolutely everything. But it is so far back now, and if it will amuse you . .Again, I don't remember very much. We were staying in a rather primitive place built into a mountain. We didn't go out into the world, just had windows. The tour people lectured us endlessly about not going out and what the world was like. I was very bored. It was a little interesting looking out the windows for a few minutes. Most everything was sort of greenish-blue, but not underwater, as I'd first thought. Anyway, I don't think my parents liked it much either. They weren't, I realize now,  getting along very well. I remember although I wish I didn't, my mother shouting at my father. He didn't even shout back. Just walked out.

Oh, dear, all sorts of bad moments are coming back. You are the only person I could tell this to. Maybe because you are so far away. Anyway, I remember my mother crying. And saying something about "I know he put himself onto her mapkey. I know it." That was about these strange little cards we were given there, that would allow us into places where we were permitted and keep us out of others. I wasn't sure what my mother meant but wondered if it had something to do with a woman in our travel group who was always hanging around. I could tell my mother didn't like her, but my father didn't seem to mind her. A coincidence--a little later I saw this woman--she had put aside her jacket and I knew the mapkey would be in the pocket. And I saw another person, one of the staff, had also left his jacket nearby, as he fixed something. I suspected his mapkey would also be in his utility pocket. Whatever he was fixing made the lights flicker and dim just then. I went over and got his mapkey out. And switched it with the woman's. They all looked sort of alike, and I thought this might make my mother feel better.

I had to scream, though, when I saw the woman later. She was outside one of the windows and seemed to be sort of floating. She was . . . grinning, in a peculiar and ugly way. Her eyes were wide open and seemed to be staring at me. I thought she must know I’d switched her mapkey. I screamed again, and my mother gasped and pulled me away. “She must have been drinking,” I heard someone say. “She did drink too much.”

                The tour left that night, and I never heard more about it A little while after we got  home. my father left us. My mother didn’t seem to mind, and then I was back at school and everything was good again. Anyway, I think I’ve seen all I want to of the rest of the universes.

 

The story hangs together much better after I read it completely instead of simply skimming it quickly like I did in the chat. There are a few typos but they should be easy to catch. If these are supposed to be letters as in slow one way transmission and wait for a response that is not immediate I would combine the two short ones and maybe bulk it up a bit.

The woman's death needs some better setting. Why is she floating and if so why didn't she float away. I could easily imagine that the habitat has air lock like compartments between different sections and she thought she was going through to somewhere safe but got dumped outside.

The way Dee responds to Myra's unknown questions is almost like Myra suspects something. Fun little story.